How well do you know your spouse?

Written on April 7, 2011 by Barbara Peters in relationship advice for couples
“Oh, you like chocolate ice cream best! Imagine that, you love the Beach Boys as much as I do! I can’t believe you love Primitive art too!”

When we first begin to learn about the people who are destined to become our significant others or spouses, the gates of knowledge fling open and a rush of trivia, some good, some bad and some downright ugly, floods our heads. We just can’t learn enough about the person we find so attractive.

Somehow we tend to assume nothing changes as years pass, until one day we overhear our spouse telling an acquaintance, “My favorite ice cream is strawberry.” What in blazes is going on here?

How well do you really know your spouse?

Turn off the TV for an evening and try an experiment I often suggest to couples having a difficult time communicating with each other. All it takes is a pad of paper, pen and a good dose of reality.

Each should jot down at least ten questions to ask the other, but both must answer to spread the wealth of knowledge sure to be discovered. Start with easy questions like “What’s your favorite song, vacation, dessert,” and so on.

Then begin probing a little deeper . . . What are you passionate about? What do you fear the most? Who is your hero? All these questions will require thought and may take some time to answer. No rush, this should be a work in progress.

There is no score to tally; the goal is to learn more about your partner, possibly discovering things and thoughts which might surprise you. It’s fun to do, and you could uncover interests you never knew you shared.