By TRACI PEDERSEN Associate News Editor

According to new research, they need a vivid and detailed picture depicting their future success. Simply knowing that they have the right grades or skills doesn’t seem to motivate.

“Students who have chronic self-doubt may need an extra boost to pursue the dreams they are certainly able to achieve,” said study author Dr. Patrick Carroll, assistant professor of psychology at Ohio State University’s Lima campus.

“This study finds that what they really need is a vivid picture of what will happen if they succeed.”

The study, published in the journal Basic and Applied Social Psychology, involved 67 undergraduate business and psychology students at Ohio State.

The college participants signed up to learn about a faux new master’s degree program in business psychology that would train them for “high-paying consulting positions as business psychologists.”

The goal was to get students interested in the (fake) program in order to observe their reactions to varying levels of validation to their new career dreams. (The researchers followed a protocol to help students who may have been disappointed that there wasn’t a real program.)

The students read a brochure about the business psychologist program and then filled out several questionnaires.

They were asked to rate their self-confidence that they could become a business psychologist, whether they were excited about the possibility of this career, whether they thought they could be admitted to the business psychology program, and whether they intended to apply. They were also asked their overall GPA.

The participants were then divided into four groups. Students in the control group were given an information sheet indicating no GPA requirement for the program. The other three groups were given sheets indicating the GPA requirement was .10 below whatever they had listed as their own GPA.

In one of these groups, a “career adviser” simply pointed out that the students’ GPA was higher than the requirement. In another group, the students were given slightly stronger validation: The adviser told the participants that they were exactly what the program was looking for and that it was unlikely they would be rejected if they applied.

The last group received the most validation: Not only were they told that they were qualified and unlikely to be rejected, but the adviser added that it was likely that they would be accepted with full funding and excel in the program and would graduate with several job offers in business psychology.

In the end, the students once again filled out forms asking how confident and excited they were about becoming business psychologists and whether they expected they would be admitted. In addition, the students were given the opportunity to actually apply to the program.

The results were striking. The students in the control group and those who were simply told their GPA exceeded the program requirements showed no self-confidence related to becoming a business psychologist and were unlikely to apply to the program or even ask for more information.

“Even when students learn that they exceed some external admissions requirement to become a business psychologist, they still have to decide whether that means they should pursue that career dream instead of any others,” Carroll said.

“They may need more validation than that to pursue this career goal.”

However, when the adviser clearly detailed the vivid prospect of success, the students were excited about pursuing the new career.

In fact, students who were given the most vivid validation had higher levels of self-confidence immediately after meeting with the adviser. They were also more likely to actually apply to the new program.

“Self-confidence played a key role here. Students felt more confident that they could really be successful as a business psychologist when they received a detailed picture from their adviser,” Carroll said.

“Sometimes students have the grades, the motivation, and the ability but simply lack the necessary self-confidence to wholeheartedly invest in the pursuit of a realistic new goal,” he said.

“This work shows how parents, teachers, and counselors can steer students into the right direction to achieve their dreams.”

Source: Ohio State University, Lima

By RICK NAUERT PHD Senior News Editor

A new European study suggests that the season you are born has a significant impact on your risk of developing mood disorders.

Researchers from Budapest, Hungary, believe their findings show that people born at certain times of year may have a greater chance of developing certain types of affective temperaments.

The temperaments can then lead to mood disorders (affective disorders).

This work is being presented at the European College of Neuropsychopharmacology Congress in Berlin.

Historically, seasons of birth have traditionally been associated with certain personality traits, such as novelty seeking. Folklore justifications, such as astrology, have sought to explain these associations.

According to lead researcher Dr. Xenia Gonda of Semmelweis University in Budapest, “Biochemical studies have shown that the season in which you are born has an influence on certain monoamine neurotransmitters, such as dopamine and serotonin, which is detectable even in adult life.

“This led us to believe that birth season may have a longer-lasting effect. Our work looked at over 400 subjects and matched their birth season to personality types in later life.

“Basically, it seems that when you are born may increase or decrease your chance of developing certain mood disorders,” she said.

“We can’t yet say anything about the mechanisms involved. What we are now looking at is to see if there are genetic markers which are related to season of birth and mood disorder.”

The group found the following statistically significant trends:

Cyclothymic temperament (characterized by rapid, frequent swings between sad and cheerful moods), is significantly higher in those born in the summer, in comparison with those born in the winter;
Hyperthymic temperament — a tendency to be excessively positive — were significantly higher in those born in spring and summer;
Those born in the winter were significantly less prone to irritable temperament than those born at other times of the year;
Those born in autumn show a significantly lower tendency to depressive temperament than those born in winter.
Commenting for the ECNP, psychiatrist Eduard Vieta, M.D., of the University of Barcelona, said, “Seasons affect our mood and behavior. Even the season at our birth may influence our subsequent risk for developing certain medical conditions, including some mental disorders. What’s new from this group of researchers is the influence of season at birth and temperament.

“Temperaments are not disorders but biologically driven behavioral and emotional trends. Although both genetic and environmental factors are involved in one’s temperament, now we know that the season at birth plays a role too.

“And the finding of ‘high mood’ tendency (hyperthymic temperament) for those born in summer is quite intriguing.”

Source: European College of Neuropsychopharmacology (ECNP)

By RICK NAUERT PHD Senior News Editor

A new study suggests music therapy may be used to reduce depression in children and adolescents with behavioral and emotional problems.

Researchers at Queen’s University Belfast found children who received music therapy had significantly improved self-esteem and significantly reduced depression compared with those who received treatment without music therapy.

Investigators also found that those who received music therapy had improved communicative and interactive skills, compared to those who received usual care options alone.

In what researchers say is the largest study of its kind, 251 children and young people were divided into two groups; 128 underwent the usual care options, while 123 were assigned to music therapy in addition to usual care.

All were being treated for emotional, developmental, or behavioral problems. Early findings suggest that the benefits are sustained in the long term.

Sam Porter, Ph.D., of the School of Nursing and Midwifery at Queen’s University, who led the study, said, “This study is hugely significant in terms of determining effective treatments for children and young people with behavioral problems and mental health needs.”

Valerie Holmes, Ph.D., of the University’s Centre for Public Health, School of Medicine, Dentistry and Biomedical Sciences, and co-researcher of the study, said, ”This is the largest study ever to be carried out looking at music therapy’s ability to help this very vulnerable group.”

Ciara Reilly, chief executive of the Northern Ireland Music Therapy Trust, noted, ”Music therapy has often been used with children and young people with particular mental health needs, but this is the first time its effectiveness has been shown by a definitive randomized controlled trial in a clinical setting.

“The findings are dramatic and underscore the need for music therapy to be made available as a mainstream treatment option. For a long time we have relied on anecdotal evidence and small-scale research findings about how well music therapy works. Now we have robust clinical evidence to show its beneficial effects.”

By MIKE BUNDRANT

More than 150 people and counting have taken at least one of our new email coaching programs. Hope and I have learned a lot about the self-sabotaging habits that people tend to struggle with.

woman knock outI’d like to share the top 5 self-sabotaging habits with you, with a few key insights about each.

First, a self-sabotaging habit is a recurring behavior that takes us in the opposite direction of fulfillment and happiness. Knowing this, you’d think all of us would simply stop.

Yet, experience with clients and in our own lives tells us that it’s not that simple in practice.

Yes, by all means, STOP your self-sabotage. Just quit it.

And when you can’t seem to get yourself to simply do that, seek education and guidance. You’ll need it. When you just cannot keep yourself from doing things that cause you harm, then you need more information and guidance.

With that, here are the top 5 self-sabotaging habits we’ve been helping people (and ourselves) overcome – and what we’ve learned by working with 150+ people in the last month.

1. Procrastination
We’ve been surprised at how many people are dealing with procrastination!

So, you have some important yet not-so-enjoyable things on your to-do list? Wisdom says “get it done!” Then, you are free to enjoy your time doing other stuff, right?

When you procrastinate, you might be telling yourself that you’d rather be spending your time doing what you enjoy, so you justify procrastinating the nasty tasks you hate.

Not so fast. With annoying stuff to do hanging over your head, you don’t enjoy yourself fully even when you are engage in “fun” diversions.

Also, procrastination leads to feelings of overwhelm, guilt, anxiety, incompetence, low self-esteem and failure. In short, procrastination serves as a tool to keep these negative emotions alive.

2. Autopilot Behaviors
This is a general category that might include mindless eating/overeating, use of substances, marathon television episodes. Basically, when you act without thinking, following the easy path of least resistance.

Some of these may be legitimate addictions. Still, to make progress, you need to get off autopilot and begin to make conscious choices. Then, you may be confronted with the underlying reasons you are behaving this way.

These reasons may include feelings of self-deprivation, emptiness and a general fear of being happy. Amazing, huh? We fill our lives with mindlessness in order to steer clear of an inner void.

Yet, if we don’t acknowledge and confront the void, we can never learn to fill it with positive emotions that offer greater fulfillment.

3. Emotional Isolation
So many of us refrain from speaking the truth and sharing with we really think and feel. We justify doing this by telling ourselves that doing so would invite rejection. We don’t want to feel rejected and alone, so we hold back.

Interestingly, the only real way to connect with people is to share your genuine thoughts and feelings. So, withholding only guarantees that you will never connect. The solution to rejection and isolation, ironically, backfires in this case.

It’s true, if you express yourself, some may disagree or even disapprove of you. And it’s good to know who these people are. Conversely, there are those that will appreciate you and fully engage you when they get to know the real you. These are your friends and supporters – another good-to-know!

4. Self-loathing
Self-criticism is the vehicle that self-loathing uses to wreak havoc in your life. It can happen in any environment. You could be at Disneyland – the happiest place on earth – and make yourself miserable with self-criticism.

Regardless of what’s going on outside, it’s what happens on the inside that matters. Some people achieve the greatest success that the world has to offer, yet are still miserable on the inside. That voice in their simply never has good things to say.

This is self-sabotage at it’s finest. Most often, inner critics have roots in the past. They are the leftovers from an earlier time that hang on day-to-day. And there only purpose seems to be to make you feel miserable.

The way to deal with inner voices rarely involves trying to ignore them. Most often, it involves learning something directly from them. Only then can you move on.

5. Personal Martyrdom
Ignoring your needs, allowing others to control you, catering to others (often against their wishes) until you are exhausted, resenting your self-imposed obligations…

Personal martrydom involves a vicious cycle of self-sabotage. In this case, your own needs are repressed and you end up feeling controlled and used by the needs of others. There is no fulfillment in this.

Most of all, personal martyrdom rejects offers for help, as if we are wholly committed to self-sacrifice. The challenge of the personal martyr is to open up to asking for and receiving help without feeling guilty or undeserving.

These are five of the top concerns people have been working through in our email coaching programs. They are all subtle (or not so subtle) forms of self-punishment.

Isn’t it time to stop?

If it is, just stop!

By DENNIS O’GRADY, PSYD

10 Introductory Questions Therapists Commonly AskTherapy is about the fine art of asking directive questions. So what should you expect from your first appointment with a counselor, social worker or psychologist?

The answer is simple: You should expect easy, brain-expanding questions, questions and more questions. A “change map” (often called “treatment goals”) is then created to guide you in solving the problems that are currently plaguing you.

Here are 10 of the more typical questions a psychotherapist will ask to prime your mental pump for positive change during the counseling process. Following the question is an example of what it might sound like.

What brings you here? “It seems like you know yourself pretty well and have thought a bunch about what you would like to talk about here. People who show up here have courage galore, perhaps even a tad bit of exasperation. If you don’t mind, I’m going to ask you some questions, and take notes about what you say so I can keep it fresh in my memory. Oh, and feel free to interrupt me at any time or steer the conversation to where you need it to go. In your mind, what brings you here today?”
Have you ever seen a counselor before? “You seem pretty comfortable and confident coming in here and talking about the challenges in your life. Have you ever seen a counselor before? If so, how many meetings did you attend and for what issues? Did you achieve the results you sought, and did your results ‘stick?’ What one thing do you remember most that your previous counselor/psychologist/social worker told you? What went right, or what didn’t turn out the way you would have liked it to?”
What is the problem from your viewpoint? “Everyone has a different perspective on what the problem is, and who or what the solution is. The point of counseling is to create positive changes as rapidly as possible without feeling hurried. How do you see the problem or how do you define it? Which difficult people in your life are causing problems for you? How do you get along with people at work? How would you describe your personality? What are three of your biggest life accomplishments? Who or what is most important to you in your life? What is the problem from your viewpoint?”
How does this problem typically make you feel? “We all have problems or challenges that we must face. Are you an optimist or a pessimist? How do you feel when a problem pops up unexpectedly? Although feelings aren’t right or wrong, good or bad, every problem has a way of making us feel one way or another. So, how does this problem typically make you feel? Do you feel sad, mad, hopeless, stuck or what?”
What makes the problem better? “How often do you experience the problem? What do you think causes the problem to worsen? Have you ever not had the problem or noticed that the problem went away altogether? Have you tried certain tools, read books or pursued avenues in the past that have worked well to solve the problem? How does the problem affect your self-esteem or your sense of guilt?”
If you could wave a magic wand, what positive changes would you make happen in your life? “Setting goals creates focus. Do you regularly set positive goals for your work life, love life and fun life? What is your attitude about change? What are your positive change goals? How would you like to improve your life to be more satisfied and happy? If we can find ways to make the problem better, perhaps we can find ways to greatly reduce or even eliminate the problem.”
Overall, how would you describe your mood? “Moods come and go like the weather. Some of us are moodier than others or pick up someone else’s mood like a cold. Still others are pretty thick-skinned about emotional events. In your case, what makes you feel anxious? Is your mood like a roller coaster, or is it pretty steady? What brings you down or makes you feel blue? What’s guaranteed to make you feel up? How do you get yourself out of a bad mood? Do you use drugs, alcohol, sex, money, or other ‘mood soothers’ to make you feel better? What have people close to you told you about your moods?”
What do you expect from the counseling process? “Everyone who comes here expects something different. I believe you are paying me to help you achieve your positive goals as quickly as possible. Some people like to receive homework, some clients like to vent and have me listen, and others want a high level of interaction. How do you think you learn best? Do you think of me as your communications and relationships coach? What do you expect from the counseling process? How many meetings do you think it will take to achieve your goals? How might you undermine achieving your own goals? Do you blame anyone for your problem? Do you use good advice to grow on? How will you know when we are done?”
What would it take to make you feel more content, happier and more satisfied? “On a scale of 0-10, how content are you with your life? What keeps happening repeatedly that frustrates you? What do people keep doing that you dislike, and what do you wish they would change? How do you typically handle irritations, aggravations and frustrations? Do you get mad easily? How does your anger come out? What baggage or resentments do you carry from the past? What wrongs have been done to you that you haven’t forgiven? What changes could someone make that would really make you happy? What has been a major life disappointment? Do you feel mad when you don’t get your way or lose control? Who is pulling your strings, and why?”
Do you consider yourself to have a low, average or high interpersonal IQ? “Would you rate your communication skills as negative, neutral or positive? How well do you get along with your life partner? Do you love your life partner? What positive relationship rules do you follow? How would you describe your relationship with your kids or grandkids? Do you get along with your siblings? How would you best describe your relationship with your parents? What family conflicts have you been embroiled in recently? What relationship have you been in that you judged to be a failure? Who do you call upon when your heart is hurting to mentor you? Have you put time and money into improving your communication skills lately? What is your biggest vulnerability or Achilles heel in relationships?”
Emotional intimacy is created when you know the honest answers to the questions above.

By DR. SUSAN RUTHERFORD & MOLLY SKYAR

Molly Skyar, in open conversation with her mother, Dr. Susan Rutherford, a clinical psychologist and expert in human behavior, view parenting decisions through a psychologist’s perspective.

MOLLY: If your baby didn’t develop a secure attachment to a parent, how might you see that child acting in preschool and elementary school?

DR. RUTHERFORD: You might notice that preschool- and elementary school-aged children with attachment issues don’t discriminate enough between known caregivers and strangers. For example, they may go off with someone else without a backward glance at Mom or Dad. Young children should have different feelings for their regular caregivers than for other people.

MOLLY: Might it be something like preschool anxiety?

DR. RUTHERFORD: Preschool anxiety is very normal, and it can easily affect both secure and insecure children. But some children with attachment difficulties might appear unusually sad or scared and exceptionally difficult to console.

The key words here are “unusually” and “exceptionally.” All preschoolers run through a gamut of emotions, especially as they begin to separate and spend time away from home. But children with attachment difficulties stand out. This is largely because they don’t feel safe to reach out and explore in ways that are typical for their age.

When a child develops secure attachments, it creates a foundation for developing the ability to cope with friendships, intimate relationships, marriage, and eventually, their own role as a parent.

MOLLY: If he or she didn’t attach well to begin with, what effects might you see as your child gets older?

DR. RUTHERFORD: As soon as children become mobile, universal behavior patterns can be observed. The child will begin to explore without the assistance of the parent. As engaged as he may be with his activity, he will periodically return to check back in with Mom. This is called the rapprochement phase.

But children who haven’t had their basic security needs met in those first 18 months might not leave their parents at all because they don’t feel secure that the parents will be there when they come back. This can make it hard to make friends with their peers. They might feel better when they are by themselves.

In elementary school this may show up in kids who cry and refuse to get on the school bus to go to school for no valid reason. Some children with attachment issues may prefer to spend recess alone; some may fight with or bully others.

*Excerpted from the recently released ebook, Shaping a Secure Start: Parenting Your Child During the First 18 Months.

By JANICE WOOD Associate News Editor

A new study shows that people who practice yoga and meditation over the long term can learn to control a computer with their minds faster and better than people with little or no yoga or meditation experience.

For their study, biomedical engineers at the University of Minnesota recruited 36 participants. One group of 12 had practiced yoga or meditation at least two times a week for an hour for at least a year. The second group included 24 healthy participants who had little or no yoga or meditation experience.

Both groups were new to systems using the brain to control a computer. People in both groups participated in three, two-hour experiments over four weeks in which they wore a high-tech, non-invasive cap over the scalp that picked up brain activity. The participants were asked to move a computer cursor across the screen by imaging left or right hand movements, the researchers explained.

The participants with yoga or meditation experience were twice as likely to complete the brain-computer interface task by the end of 30 trials, according to the researchers. Those with yoga or meditation experience also learned three times faster than those in the other group.

“In recent years, there has been a lot of attention on improving the computer side of the brain-computer interface, but very little attention to the brain side,” said lead researcher Bin He, a biomedical engineering professor in the University of Minnesota’s College of Science and Engineering and director of the University’s Institute for Engineering in Medicine.

“This comprehensive study shows for the first time that looking closer at the brain side may provide a valuable tool for reducing obstacles for brain-computer interface success in early stages.”

Researchers have increasingly focused on finding ways to help physically disabled individuals who are paralyzed, have lost limbs, or suffer from diseases such as ALS or cerebral palsy, according to the researcher.

For these people, brain function remains intact, but they haven’t found a way to bypass muscular control to move a wheelchair, control an artificial limb, or control other devices, he noted.

He gained international attention in 2013 when members of his research team were able to demonstrate flying a robot with only their minds. However, the researchers found that not everyone can learn to control a computer with their brains.

Researchers noticed that a consistent and reliable electroencephalography (EEG) brain signal may depend on an undistracted mind and sustained attention. Meditators have shown more distinctive EEG patterns than untrained participants, which may explain their success, according to the researchers.

He said he got the idea for the study more than five years ago when he began his brain-computer interface research and noticed one woman who was much more successful than others at controlling the computer with her brain. The woman had extensive experience with yoga and mediation, referred to by researchers as Mind-Body Awareness Training.

According to He, the next step for his team is to study a group of participants over time who are participating in yoga or meditation for the first time to see if their performance on the brain-computer interface improves.

“Our ultimate goal is to help people who are paralyzed or have brain diseases regain mobility and independence,” he said. “We need to look at all possibilities to improve the number of people who could benefit from our research.”

The study, funded by the National Science Foundation, the National Institutes of Health, and the University of Minnesota’s Institute for Engineering in Medicine, was published in TECHNOLOGY, a new scientific journal.

Source: World Scientific Publishing Co.

BY LOLLY DASKAL @LOLLYDASKAL
What do you need to find and develop within yourself to be successful? The answer comes from looking at those who have created success in a variety of fields. These traits may sound simple, but they lead to remarkable results.

If you really want to bring success into your life, you should cultivate yourself just as you’d cultivate a garden for the best yield.

The attributes here are shared by successful people everywhere, but they don’t happen by accident or luck. They originate in habits, built a day at a time.

Remember: If you live your life as most people do, you will get what most people get. If you settle, you will get a settled life. If you give yourself your best, every day, your best will give back to you.

Here are the traits that the highly successful cultivate. How many do you have?

1. Drive

You have the determination to work harder than most and make sure things get done. You pride yourself on seeing things getting completed and you take charge when necessary. You drive yourself with purpose and align yourself with excellence.

2. Self-reliance

You can shoulder responsibilities and be accountable. You make hard decisions and stand by them. To think for yourself is to know yourself.

3. Willpower

You have the strength to see things through–you don’t vacillate or procrastinate. When you want it, you make it happen. The world’s greatest achievers are those who have stayed focused on their goals and been consistent in their efforts.

4. Patience

You are willing to be patient, and you understand that, in everything, there are failures and frustrations. To take them personally would be a detriment.

5. Integrity

This should not have to be said, but it’s seriously one of the most important attributes you can cultivate. Honesty is the best policy for everything you do; integrity creates character and defines who you are.

6. Passion

If you want to succeed, if you want to live, it’s not politeness but rather passion that will get you there. Life is 10 percent what you experience and 90 percent how you respond to it.

7. Connection

You can relate to others, which in turns makes everything reach further and deepen in importance.

8. Optimism

You know there is much to achieve and much good in this world, and you know what’s worth fighting for. Optimism is a strategy for making a better future–unless you believe that the future can be better, you’re unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so.

9. Self-confidence

You trust yourself. It’s as simple as that. And when you have that unshakeable trust in yourself, you’re already one step closer to success.

10. Communication

You work to communicate and pay attention to the communicators around you. Most important, you hear what isn’t being said. When communication is present, trust and respect follow.

No one plans on being mediocre; mediocrity happens when you don’t plan. If you want to succeed, learn the traits that will make you successful and plan on living them out every day.

Be humble and great. Courageous and determined. Faithful and fearless. That is who you are, and who you have always been.

Reports of insomnia are common among the elderly, but a new study finds that sleep problems may stem from the quality of rest and other health concerns more than the overall amount of sleep that patients get.

An estimated 30 percent of adults report having some symptoms of insomnia, which includes difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep or waking up too early and then not feeling well rested during the daytime. Prior studies suggest that nearly half of older adults report at least one insomnia symptom and that lack of restorative sleep might be linked to heart disease, falls, and declines in cognitive and daytime functioning.

The new study found discrepancies between self-reported insomnia and outcomes recorded on a sleep-monitoring device. Older adults’ perception of sleep does not always match what’s actually happening when a more objective assessment is used to monitor sleep patterns and behaviors.

A study, published online by Journals of Gerontology: Medical Sciences, used data from 727 participants in the National Social Life, Health and Aging Project who were randomly invited to participate in an “Activity and Sleep Study.” The activity and sleep study had two components: a self-administered sleep booklet, which included questions about the person’s sleep experience, (e.g., “how often do you feel really rested when you wake up in the morning?”) and 72-hours of wrist actigraphy, which is a wristwatch-like sensor that monitors sleep patterns and movements.

An author on the study, Linda Waite, the University of Chicago Lucy Flower Professor in Urban Sociology and the director of the Center on Aging at NORC at UChicago, said the researchers wanted to objectively evaluate several aspects of older adults’ sleep characteristics, which is why they used the actigraphs in addition to the survey questions.

“Older adults may complain of waking up too early and not feeling rested despite accumulating substantial hours of sleep,” Waite said.

The actigraph measurements showed that most of the older adults got sufficient amounts of sleep.

Even though reported sleep problems are common among older individuals, according to the survey only about 13 percent of older adults in the study said that they rarely or never feel rested when waking up in the morning. About 12 percent reported often having trouble falling asleep, 30 percent indicated they regularly had problems with waking up during the night and 13 percent reported problems with waking up too early and not being able to fall asleep again most of the time.

The actigraph provided data that showed the average duration of sleep period among the study participants was 7.9 hours and the average total sleep time was 7.25 hours. Waite said this indicates that the majority of older adults are getting the recommended amount of sleep and usually not having common sleep problems.

One other unexpected finding for the researchers was that respondents who reported waking up more frequently during the night had more total sleep time. “This suggests that a question about feeling rested may tap into other aspects of older adults’ everyday health or psychological experience,” said Waite.

“Our findings suggest that reports of what seem like specific sleep problems from survey questions may be more accurately viewed as indicators of general problems or dissatisfaction with sleep that may be due to other issues in their lives affecting their overall well-being. These survey questions and actigraphy may measure different aspects of sleep experience.”

Joining Waite as one of the co-authors on the study was Martha McClintock, the David Lee Shillinglaw Distinguished Service Professor in Psychology and the College; Ronald Thisted, professor of health studies and statistics; and colleagues from the University of Missouri and Stanford University School of Medicine. The study was supported by a grant from the National Institute on Aging.

By MARGARITA TARTAKOVSKY, M.S.

17 Questions to Ask Your Partner to Deepen Your Connection Couples who have strong bonds remain interested in each other. They remain curious about each other’s experiences and inner lives, such as their thoughts, feelings, and fears.

As such, a great way to cultivate your connection is to talk about these inner worlds — because good communication goes beyond talk of tasks, errands and kids. (Those topics, of course, also are important. But so is delving into the intimate and often overlooked conversations.)

We asked several relationship experts for their suggestions for meaningful, fun or thought-provoking questions that partners can ask each other. Here’s what they shared…

How was your day today?
It’s such a simple, straightforward question. But in the chaos of daily living, you might forget to ask it. “This allows people to share specifics and stay connected on a day-to-day basis,” said Mudita Rastogi, Ph.D, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Arlington Heights, Ill.

What do you need from me right now?
This is an important question to ask when your partner is having a difficult day, Rastogi said. “It allows the asking partner to tailor their help to what is needed.”

How do I express my anger and conflict?
This is a question that each partner asks themselves, responding out loud while the other partner listens.

According to Beverly Hills clinical psychologist Fran Walfish, PsyD, the number one determining factor for a healthy, lasting relationship is managing conflict effectively. That includes listening without interruption, being willing to discuss issues, tolerating differences and strategizing solutions, she said.

What are you looking forward to today, this week and this month?
“This helps you tune in to what your partner enjoys,” Rastogi said. Plus, it balances out the more serious and potentially negative topics, she said.

Am I being a good spouse to you?
What are three things that I do that you couldn’t live without?
What are the ways you most experience or feel love from me or from what I do?
“It is important to check in regularly to see if what you are doing and saying is positively feeding the relationship,” said Erik R. Benson, MSW, LCSW, a private therapist in the Chicago and North Suburbs area. He suggested asking these three questions.

If you could be a character in any book, which character would you be, and why?
If you could go back in time to your teenage self, what two words would you say?
Benson also shared these two questions, which his wife, who works in the special education field, has asked him to help her get to know him better.

Describe the perfect you day (or if you could do anything you wanted for a day, what would it be?)
This is another question Benson’s wife has asked him. Such information helps her plan activities, dates and gifts, he said.

If I could change one thing about myself I would change _____.
“This gives you a window into something the person feels insecure about,” Walfish said. And it’s an opportunity for partners to be empathic and compassionate with each other, she said.

If I spent a typical day in your shoes, describe what I would experience.
Benson suggested asking the above question. Empathy is key for healthy relationships, and such questions help partners gain a deeper understanding into each other’s experiences.

What would you do in life if money weren’t an issue?
“This helps [couples] connect around long-term wishes, dreams and plans,” Rastogi said.

If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?This is another question that reveals your partner’s fantasies and even their personal character, Walfish said.
What is your greatest fear?
“You can support your partner by not pressuring when approaching the scary territory,” Walfish said. You also can ask how to help your partner become more comfortable, she said. “You want to be your partner’s safe harbor to come to for safety, soothing and healing.”

What would be your last wishes if you were incapacitated and unable to make health care decisions?
No doubt this is a difficult question to bring up. But, as Rastogi said, it’s a critical one.

What is the best thing that has ever happened to you?
This one leaves the conversation on a positive note, Walfish said. “Each one of you gets to think about happy, wonderful influences in your lives.”

By JOHN M. GROHOL, PSY.D.

6 Absolute Must-Haves for Relationship Compatibility

Romantic relationships can be a lot of fun! The start of a new relationship is nearly always one of the most exciting times, as you each explore one another’s hopes, dreams … and bodies.

But what happens if you want to turn that short-term fling into a longer-term thing? Will those same characteristics you found exciting and different in your romantic partner work long-term?

You don’t have to be 100 percent compatible in order to make a long-term relationship work. But there are a few areas that you’ll find it beneficial to have partner compatibility.

Now don’t get me wrong — you can have a successful relationship and have only a few of the things listed below in common. But you’ll find your relationship will have greater smooth sailing the more of these attributes you share or have close in common. And the less stress your relationship has in its natural state, the more the two of you will work together in harmony to support one another during those greater times of stress that life will inevitably throw at you.

Here are six areas that the greater compatibility you share with your partner, the easier and less stressful your relationship will be.

1. Timeliness & Punctuality
How many relationship arguments have started over, “Why are you always 30 minutes late to everything?” People who aren’t compatible in how punctual they are for appointments, engagements, dates and such will find one person always unhappy with the other person’s timeliness. If you both can’t make anything on time, you’ll be happy together. But if one of you is punctual and the other isn’t, it’s a recipe for constant arguing.

2. Cleanliness & Orderliness
People who are neat and orderly often find it difficult, if not downright challenging, to live with someone who’s a slob. And people who don’t put much time or effort into cleanliness don’t often care that it means something to others. You know how cute you found his cluttered and messy apartment those first few weeks? That wears off fast if you’re someone who likes things to be clean and orderly.

3. Money & Spending
More couples argue about money and finances than anything else (well, except maybe for the next one). This is a much larger issue than most relationships ever consider at the onset. And because it can be awkward to talk about money and finances, most couples also put off such discussions until things start going wrong. If he’s a spender and she’s a saver, that could mean trouble down the road when you’re planning for life’s bigger purchases, such as a house, cars or your children’s future education.

Couples who are on the same page with their money and finances will usually find it easier going than those with wildly divergent spending behaviors.

4. Sex & Intimacy
How many articles have been written about the importance of sex and intimacy in a relationship? It may be hard to gauge how sexually compatible you are at the beginning of a relationship, since sex is usually more of a shared enjoyment then. But as the newness wears off, it’s a good time to gauge whether your sexual needs and desires are truly similar.

Like money, talking about your own personal sexual desires and needs may be challenging. But the sooner you do it and figure out if the two of you are sexually compatible long-term, the quicker you can know whether you share this compatibility. Incompatibility in the bedroom is the second most-common reason for long-term relationship discord.

5. Life Priorities & Tempo
Different people work and live at different tempos in life. Discovering and acknowledging your own personal tempo is an important step to finding someone with a similar and compatible tempo.

Some people are laid-back and let little get to them, while others take every one of life’s challenges to heart. Some people value work, seeing no problem in working 12-hour days, while others value spending time with family and one’s children. Are you the kind of person who’s okay with “being” with your partner while the two of you have your heads down in technology?

If you’re on the same page about what your life’s priorities are, you’ll find you’ll have a lot less arguments about these kinds of issues. Sharing life will be easier as you progress through life at the same tempo.

6. Spirituality & Religion
Many people who come from two different religious backgrounds make their relationship work. However, talk to such couples and you’ll find most of the agree it can sometimes be a challenge — especially if children are involved. If one partner in the couple isn’t going to convert to the other person’s religion and both partners are religious people, you’ll often find trouble brewing.

* * *
The more you and your partner share in these six characteristics, the smoother going your romantic life is going to be (although you don’t need to be 100 percent compatible in all six areas — nobody and no relationship is perfect). Because when your relationship is firing on all cylinders, it helps keep you more resilient and better able to handle whatever else life throws at you.

By MARGARITA TARTAKOVSKY, M.S.

Top Reasons Couples Fall Out of LoveYou’ll hear many people say “we just aren’t ‘in love’ with each other anymore.” But relationships don’t naturally fall apart, according to Susan Orenstein, a licensed psychologist and relationship expert in Cary, N.C.

Other reasons often underlie a relationship’s breakdown. Below, you’ll find these common reasons along with several helpful suggestions if one hits close to home.

They don’t meet each other’s needs.

At the beginning of a relationship, people are attracted to each other’s traits, said Mudita Rastogi, Ph.D, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Arlington Heights, Ill. But over time their needs go unmet. For instance, a husband may no longer feel wanted by his wife. A wife may fear her husband isn’t going to support her.

Or the very traits they were attracted to have now become intolerable, she said. For instance, one partner loves that the other is sociable and has a similar sense of humor. However, over time, they think their partner is too loud and flirtatious with friends, which leads to jealousy and resentment, she said.

Suggestion: Because partners aren’t mind readers, it’s important to discuss your needs. Ask “each other what makes [you] feel loved and wanted,” Rastogi said. One partner might need a hug right after work. Another might need a date night. Someone else might need a text when their partner is running late. Still someone else might need to hear the words “I love you” more often.

The honeymoon is over.

Over time, the lust, excitement and pride in your partner — the “honeymoon period” — also fades, said Orenstein. It’s normal for the highs of the relationship to level out.

In fact, this is how we’re wired, she said. She cited the work of anthropologist Helen Fisher, who notes that all cultures have a kind of honeymoon period so that bonding and mating can occur.

But because this early phase inevitably fades, couples think they’re not “in love” anymore, and, as bills and dishes pile up, they may start taking each other for granted, Orenstein said. We may “gloss over the positives that our mates do for us, and instead tend to focus on the negatives.”

Suggestion: We are wired for negativity. It’s human nature, Orenstein said, to focus on what’s missing and what others have that we don’t. That’s why it’s important to refocus ourselves on gratitude. If we regularly notice and acknowledge the positive things our partners do to make our lives comfortable and meaningful, we actually rewire “our brain to be in a more positive state of appreciation and gratitude.”

Orenstein suggested creating a list of all the considerate things your partner has done in the past 24 hours. For instance, maybe they quietly got ready for work so you could sleep in. Maybe they washed the dishes or texted you during the day to see how you were doing. Maybe they’re working hard for your family or made dinner that night.

The next day when they do something kind, express your gratitude. “These micro moments are the building blocks for creating a home life replete with affection and appreciation.”

They avoid conflict.

Some couples swallow their feelings because they’re afraid of conflict, said Orenstein. This means that over time, frustration, hurt and resentment build up, which “crowd[s] out the love and joy that they used to feel.”

Suggestion: Orenstein suggested couples find ways they can share feedback. For instance, instead of getting defensive, thank your partner for his or her feedback and consider what you can learn about their needs, she said.

Try to think of your partner’s feedback as an opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of him or her. Also, “make sure you’re sharing who you are and what you need.” When you’re honest and open, you not only understand each other better, but you also build respect and find creative solutions to meet each other’s needs, she said.

And if you’re having a difficult time with this, seeing a therapist can help. “An experienced couples therapist can teach you tools for speaking and listening and facilitate these loving conversations,” Orenstein said.

They fight frequently and dirty.

Some couples don’t know how to work together and instead struggle for control, Orenstein said. “These couples are in high-conflict relationships, often finding themselves yelling, saying hurtful comments to and about their spouse, and even becoming physically aggressive.”

They also begin to view each other as the enemy, and feel insecure and unsafe, she said. “Any feelings of warmth and affection are taken over by feelings of fear, anger and shame.”

Suggestion: “Go see a trained couples therapist who can help you and your partner establish ‘rules of engagement’ to stop the dirty fighting and instead share your frustrations in a constructive manner,” Orenstein said. You’ll learn to recognize the signs that you’re losing control, use tools to calm down, cope with conflict effectively and get closer, she said.

If you have fallen out of love with your partner, remember that the relationship isn’t doomed to a downward spiral or breakup. It’s a myth, Orenstein said, that “partners have no control over turning it around.” If you’d like to improve your relationship, try the above techniques that are applicable, or find a therapist who specializes in working with couples.

“Couples really owe it to themselves and each other to ascertain what went wrong so they can address it to improve the relationship or to at least recognize their contribution to the problem so they can create a better relationship in their future,” Orenstein said.

In his book The Art of Loving, Erich Fromm described love as a process and a journey, Rastogi said. “It is a series of actions rather than a fleeting feeling. Thus, love is something you create, and not simply feel.”

Scientists make a direct link between work absence and lack of sleep
By QuentinFottrell

How much sleep do you get every night? Studies show that most people try to muddle by on less than seven hours, but new research claims to have found the exact amount of time we need.

Men need 7.8 hours per night and women need 7.6 hours, according to a study that tracked 3,760 people over seven years and published in the September issue of the journal Sleep. They cross-referenced data on work absence due to illness from Finland’s Social Insurance Institution with sleep disturbances and sickness absence of the study’s participants, who were examined by physicians. After adjusting for age, education, working conditions, health behaviors and mental health, the scientists calculated the “optimal sleep duration.”

Sleep experts say the results are particularly relevant in the U.S., where 40% of people get less than seven hours of sleep a night, according to a 2013 Gallup poll. Americans, on average, had what’s now regarded as the optimal amount of sleep in the 1940s (7.9 hours per night), but that’s fallen to 6.8 hours in 2013. Americans aged 65 and older report getting the most sleep (67% get 7 or more hours per night) while only 54% of 18- to 29-year-olds and less than half of 18- to 29-year-olds report getting 7 or more hours.

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends between 7 and 9 hours per night, but Nathaniel Watson, president of the American Board of Sleep Medicine, says people are getting less sleep in part because of their increasing reliance on technology. “We generally recommend that people have a period where they wind down before they go to sleep,” he says. “When people are interacting with technology, not only are they interrupting with that wind down period, but they’re being stimulated by blue wavelengths of light, which further makes sleeping difficult.”

What’s more, studies show that people overestimate the amount of time they sleep by around 45 minutes, says James Maas, former chairman of the Department of Psychology at Cornell University who is widely credited with coining the term “power nap”. “Sometimes, you’re going to toss and turn before you fall asleep,” he says. “It’s hard to know accurately the quantity without measuring brainwaves. You can be in bed for eight or nine hours and have a bad sleep.” Bad dreams don’t help, he adds. “Your blood pressure may go up. Nightmares can be exhausting, mentally and physically.”

People experiencing sleep insufficiency are more likely to suffer from chronic diseases such as hypertension, diabetes, depression, and obesity, plus cancer, increased mortality, and reduced quality of life, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Simon Rego, director of psychology training at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City, says each person has a unique sleep requirement.

“A simple definition for sufficient sleep is a sleep duration that is followed by a spontaneous awakening and leaves the person feeling refreshed and alert for the day,” he says.

ADHD is Real (from: http://www.adhdawarenessmonth.org/adhd-facts/)

Nearly every mainstream medical, psychological, and educational organization in the United States long ago concluded that Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a real, brain-based medical disorder. These organizations also concluded that children and adults with ADHD benefit from appropriate treatment. [1,2,3,4,5,6,7]

ADHD is a Common, Non-Discriminatory Disorder

ADHD is a non-discriminatory disorder affecting people of every age, gender, IQ, religious and socio-economic background.

In 2011, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that the percentage of children in the United States who have ever been diagnosed with ADHD is now 9.5%. [8] Boys are diagnosed two to three times as often as girls.

Among adults, the Harvard/NIMH National Comorbidity Survey Replication found 4.4% percent of adults, ages 18-44 in the United States, experience symptoms and some disability. [9]

ADHD, AD/HD, and ADD all refer to the same disorder. The only difference is that some people have hyperactivity and some people don’t.

Diagnosing ADHD is a Complex Process

In order for a diagnosis of ADHD to be considered, the person must exhibit a large number of symptoms, demonstrate significant problems with daily life in several major life areas (work, school, or friends), and have had the symptoms for a minimum of six months.

To complicate the diagnostic process, many of the symptoms look like extreme forms of normal behavior. Additionally, a number of other conditions resemble ADHD. Therefore, other possible causes of the symptoms must be taken into consideration before reaching a diagnosis of ADHD.

What makes ADHD different from other conditions is that the symptoms are excessive, pervasive, and persistent. That is, behaviors are more extreme, show up in multiple settings, and continue showing up throughout life.

No single test will confirm that a person has ADHD. Instead, diagnosticians rely on a variety of tools, the most important of which is information about the person and his or her behavior and environment. If the person meets all of the criteria for ADHD [10,11], he or she will be diagnosed with the disorder.

Other Mental Health Conditions Often Occur Along With ADHD

Up to 30% of children and 25-40% of adults with ADHD have a co-existing anxiety disorder. [12]
Experts claim that up to 70% of those with ADHD will be treated for depression at some point in their lives. [13]
Sleep disorders affect people with ADHD two to three times as often as those without it. [14]
ADHD is Not Benign

ADHD is not benign.[15] Particularly when the ADHD is undiagnosed and untreated, ADHD contributes to:

Problems succeeding in school and successfully graduating. [16,17]
Problems at work, lost productivity, and reduced earning power. [18,19,20,21]
Problems with relationships. [22,23]
More driving citations and accidents. [24,25,26,27]
Problems with overeating and obesity. [28,29,30,31]
Problems with the law. [32,33]
According to Dr. Joseph Biederman, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, ADHD may be one of the costliest medical conditions in the United States: “Evaluating, diagnosing and treating this condition may not only improve the quality of life, but may save billions of dollars every year.” [34]

ADHD is Nobody’s FAULT

ADHD is NOT caused by moral failure, poor parenting, family problems, poor teachers or schools, too much TV, food allergies, or excess sugar. Instead, research shows that ADHD is both highly genetic (with the majority of ADHD cases having a genetic component), and a brain-based disorder (with the symptoms of ADHD linked to many specific brain areas). [35]

The factors that appear to increase a child’s likelihood of having the disorder include gender, family history, prenatal risks, environmental toxins, and physical differences in the brain. [36]

ADHD Treatment is Multi-Faceted

Currently, available treatments focus on reducing the symptoms of ADHD and improving functioning. Treatments include medication, various types of psychotherapy, behavioral interventions, education or training, and educational support. Usually a person with ADHD receives a combination of treatments. [37,38]

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Back to the top

Mental Health: A Report of the Surgeon General, Chapter 3, Section 4: Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. www.surgeongeneral.gov/library/mentalhealth/chapter3/sec4.html
National Institute of Mental Health: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/
Center for Disease Control and Prevention: Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/
U.S Department of Education Research: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. www2.ed.gov/rschstat/research/pubs/adhd/
American Academy of Pediatrics Children’s Health Topics: ADHD. www.aap.org/healthtopics/adhd.cfm
Phelan, K. (2002). World of Distraction: Adult Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. www.ama-assn.org/amednews/2002/03/18/hlsa0318.htm
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry: ADHD Resource Center. www.aacap.org/cs/ADHD.ResourceCenter
Back to Fact 1
Akinbami, L.J., Liu, X., Pastor, P.N., Reuben, C.A. (2011). Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Among Children Aged 5–17 Years in the United States, 1998–2009. www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db70.htm
National Institute of Mental Health. (2006). Harvard Study Suggests Significant Prevalence of ADHD Symptoms Among Adults. www.nimh.nih.gov/science-news/2006/harvard-study-suggests-significant-prevalence-of-adhd-symptoms-among-adults.shtml
Back Fact 2
Center for Disease Control and Prevention: Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Symptoms and Diagnosis. www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/diagnosis.html
Searight, H.R., Burke, J.M., Rottnek, F. (2000). Adult ADHD: Evaluation and Treatment in Family Medicine. www.aafp.org/afp/20001101/2077.html
Back to Fact 3
National Resource Center on ADHD. (2008). What We Know: AD/HD and Coexisting Conditions. www.help4adhd.org/documents/WWK5.pdf
National Resource Center on ADHD. (2008). What We Know: AD/HD and Coexisting Conditions: Depression. www.help4adhd.org/documents/WWK5c.pdf
National Resource Center on ADHD. (2008). What We Know: AD/HD, Sleep, and Sleep Disorders. www.help4adhd.org/documents/WWK5d.pdf
Back to Fact 4
Barkley, R.A., et al. (2002). International Consensus Statement on ADHD. www.russellbarkley.org/images/Consensus 2002.pdf
Adler, L.A and Cohen, J. (2002). ADHD: Recent Advances in Diagnosis and Treatment. www.medscape.org/viewarticle/443113
Biederman, J., Faraone, S.V. (2006). The Effects of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder on Employment and Household Income. www.medscape.com/viewarticle/536264
Adler, L.A and Cohen, J. (2002). ADHD: Recent Advances in Diagnosis and Treatment. www.medscape.org/viewarticle/443113
Kessler, R. C., Lane, M., Stang, P. E., Van Brunt, D. L. (2009). The Prevalence and Workplace Costs of Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in a Large Manufacturing Firm. www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18423074
Back to Fact 5
Gjervan, B., Torgersen, T., Nordahl, J M., Rasmussen, K. (2011). Functional Impairment and Occupational Outcome in Adults with ADHD. jad.sagepub.com/content/early/2011/06/29/1087054711413074.abstract
Biederman, J., Faraone, S.V. (2006). The Effects of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder on Employment and Household Income. www.medscape.com/viewarticle/536264
Barkley, R.A., Murphy, K., and Fischer, M. (2007). ADHD in Adults, What the Science Says. New York, NY: Gilford Press.
Biederman, J., et al (2006). Functional Impairments in Adults with Self-reports of Diagnosed ADHD: A Controlled Study of 1001 Adults in the Community. www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16669717
Back to Fact 5
Barkley, R.A., Guevremont, D.C., Anastopoulos, A.D., DuPaul, G.J. & Shelton, T.L. (1993). Driving—Related Risks and Outcomes of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in Adolescents and Young Adults: A 3- to 5-Year Follow-up Survey. pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/92/2/212.abstract
Barkley, R.A., Murphy, K.R., Kwasnik, D. (1996). Motor Vehicle Driving Competencies and Risks in Teens and Young Adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/98/6/1089.abstract
Snyder, J. (2001). ADHD & Driving: A Guide For Parents of Teens with AD/HD. Whitefish, MO: Whitefish Consultants.
Murphy, K. (2006). Driving Risks in Adolescents and Young Adults with ADHD. preview.tinyurl.com/3nkpn7u
Dukarm, C.P. (2006). Pieces of a Puzzle: The Link Between Eating Disorders and ADD. Washington, DC: Advantage Books.
Waring, M.E., and LaPane, K.L. (2008). Overweight in Children and Adolescents in Relation to Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: Results From a National Sample. pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/122/1/e1.full.pdf
Back to Fact 5
Pagoto, S.L. et al. (2009). Association Between Adult Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder and Obesity in the US Population. www.nature.com/oby/journal/v17/n3/full/oby2008587a.html
Dempsey, A., Dyhouse, J. and Schafer, J. (2011). The relationship between executive function, AD/HD, overeating, and obesity. wjn.sagepub.com/content/33/5/609.abstract
Quily, P. (2011). Up To 45% 0f Prisoners Have ADHD Studies Show. Crime & Jail Are Costly, Treatment Is Cheap. adultaddstrengths.com/2011/01/12/adhd-and-crime-ignore-now-jail-later-15-clinical-studies/
Biederman, J., et al (2006). Functional Impairments in Adults with Self-reports of Diagnosed ADHD: A Controlled Study of 1001 Adults in the Community. www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16669717
Medical News Today. (2005). $77 billion in lost income is attributed to ADHD annually in USA. www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/24988.php
Back to Fact 5
Barkley, R.A., et al. (2002). International Consensus Statement on ADHD. www.russellbarkley.org/images/Consensus 2002.pdf
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry: ADHD Resource Center. www.aacap.org/cs/ADHD.ResourceCenter/adhd_faqs
Back to Fact 6
National Institute of Mental Health: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder/how-is-adhd-treated.shtml
Center for Disease Control and Prevention: Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/treatment.html

It can be very upsetting to think that a child is being bullied. Try to stay calm and focus on how you can help. Keep reading to learn ways you can show support and help solve the problem.

Signs of bullying
What to do if a girl is being bullied
Working with a child’s school

Kids may have lots of reasons to keep quiet about being bullied. They may feel embarrassed, afraid, or even at fault. But if you suspect bullying, you can look for signs, such as the following:

Frequent headaches, stomachaches, or feeling sick
Having trouble sleeping or frequent bad dreams
Changes in eating habits or coming home hungry because of skipping lunch
Suddenly losing interest in friends
Not wanting to go to school or declining grades
Seeming sad, moody, angry, or anxious after school
Having damaged or missing items, like clothes or jewelry
Unexplained injuries
Talking about hurting herself or suicide
Girls may show several of these signs or just a few. If you suspect bullying, talk about it. Bullying can have serious physical and emotional effects.

Prevent suicide
If you fear that a child is thinking about suicide because of bullying, get help. You can contact the suicide prevention hotline at 800-273-TALK (800-273-8255) for free 24 hours a day.

If a girl tells you she is being bullied, make sure she knows you really want to help. Here are some steps you can take:

Get the facts. Find out what has been happening and for how long. Start keeping a record of each incident, including the time and place. This can be helpful when working with a school.
Teach a girl ways to stand up to bullies. Practice what she can say if she’s bullied. Look together at tips on dealing with bullying from girlshealth.gov.
Tell her to report bullying. She should go to a trusted adult right away when bullying happens. Emphasize that reporting is not wrong. Offer to contact her school for her.
Encourage her to find ways to make her life better. Suggest that she join a club or try to make new friends. Work on ways she can feel confident and strong.
Offer emotional support. Make sure she knows being bullied is not her fault. Praise her for being brave enough to speak up. Tell her about your experiences if you ever were bullied.
Reach out for help. Your school’s guidance counselor or nurse may be able to help a child deal with the stress of being bullied. You can also find mental health services near you External link, sometimes at a reduced cost. You can also find centers External link that offer services if you don’t have insurance. (And you can learn about getting insurance through the Health Insurance Marketplace External link.)
You can learn more about how to help a bullied child External link — including what not to do — from stopbullying.gov.

If your girl is being bullied, don’t be afraid to contact her school. Bullying may not stop without the school’s help. Here are some steps you can take.

Contact the school. Set up an appointment with your child’s teacher or with the school’s counselor. When you meet, bring any notes you have about the bullying incidents.
Follow up. It can take time for bullying to stop. Check in regularly with school staff.
Don’t give up. If you feel like your child’s teacher has not been able to help, you can contact the school’s principal or even the school district’s superintendent. If those options don’t work, you can contact your state’s department of schools.
Know your child’s rights. Many states have laws against bullying. Also, federal law protects children who are bullied because of their race, color, national origin, sex, religion, or disability. You can contact the U.S. Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights External link if you think a child is being bullied because of any of these and your school is not working to stop the bullying.

http://www.girlshealth.gov/parents/parentsbullying/daughterbullied.html

You may think you know your own mind, but when it comes to memory, research suggests that you don’t. If we’re trying to learn something, many of us study in ways that prevent the memories sticking. Fortunately, the same research also reveals how we can supercharge our learning.
Related

We’ve all had to face a tough exam at least once in our lives. Whether it’s a school paper, university final or even a test at work, there’s one piece of advice we’re almost always given: make a study plan. With a plan, we can space out our preparation for the test rather than relying on one or two intense study sessions the night before to see us through.

It’s good advice. Summed up in three words: cramming doesn’t work. Unfortunately, many of us ignore this rule. At least one survey has found that 99% of students admit to cramming.

You might think that’s down to nothing more than simple disorganisation: I’ll admit it is far easier to leave things to the last minute than start preparing for a test weeks or months ahead. But studies of memory suggest there’s something else going on. In 2009, for example, Nate Kornell at the University of California, Los Angeles, found that spacing out learning was more effective than cramming for 90% of the participants who took part in one of his experiments – and yet 72% of the participants thought that cramming had been more beneficial. What is happening in the brain that we trick ourselves this way?

It’s better to spread out revision before the big exam (comedy_nose/Flickr/CC BY 2.0)
It’s better to spread out revision before the big exam (comedy_nose/Flickr/CC BY 2.0)
Studies of memory suggest that we have a worrying tendency to rely on our familiarity with study items to guide our judgements of whether we know them. The problem is that familiarity is bad at predicting whether we can recall something.

Familiar, not remembered

After six hours of looking at study material (and three cups of coffee and five chocolate bars) it’s easy to think we have it committed to memory. Every page, every important fact, evokes a comforting feeling of familiarity. The cramming has left a lingering glow of activity in our sensory and memory systems, a glow that allows our brain to swiftly tag our study notes as “something that I’ve seen before”. But being able to recognise something isn’t the same as being able to recall it.

Different parts of the brain support different kinds of memory. Recognition is strongly affected by the ease with which information passes through the sensory areas of our brain, such as the visual cortex if you are looking at notes. Recall is supported by a network of different areas of the brain, including the frontal cortex and the temporal lobe, which coordinate to recreate a memory from the clues you give it. Just because your visual cortex is fluently processing your notes after five consecutive hours of you looking at them, doesn’t mean the rest of your brain is going to be able to reconstruct the memory of them when you really need it to.

(Thinkstock)
Merely thinking hard about what’s on the blackboard isn’t enough to make learning actually happen (Thinkstock)
This ability to make judgements about our own minds is called metacognition. Studying it has identified other misconceptions too. For instance, many of us think that actively thinking about trying to learn something will help us remember it. Studies suggest this is not the case. Far more important is reorganising the information so that it has a structure more likely to be retained in your memory. In other words, rewrite the content of what you want to learn in a way that makes most sense to you.

Knowing about common metacognitive errors means you can help yourself by assuming that you will make them. You can then try and counteract them. So, the advice to space out our study only makes sense if we assume that people aren’t already spacing out their study sessions enough (a safe assumption, given the research findings). We need to be reminded of the benefits of spaced learning because it runs counter to our instinct to relying on a comforting feeling of familiarity when deciding how to study

Put simply, we can sometimes have a surprising amount to gain from going against our normally reliable metacognitive instinct. How much should you space out your practice? Answer: a little bit more than you really want to.

After an unexpected end to a two-year relationship last September, I was confident in my ability to move on fairly quickly, yet felt out of touch with the mid-twenties dating world. Things had changed since the days of college flings and meaningless encounters. I finally felt like an adult and was trying to figure out this “adult” way of dating. Between working full time and living alone, where on earth was I supposed to meet Mr. Right unless it involved a few drinks followed by a half forgotten conversation? So I hopped on the online dating train that apparently has 29 million passengers in America alone. A team of 3 researchers, Ellison, Heino, and Gibbs, found that 40% of Americans have an online dating profile, so why not? Online dating, 10-15 years ago, was considered more taboo but is now skyrocketing exponentially in use. With an increase in technology features and an emphasis on social media, more of us are turning to online dating in hopes of finding love.
Why the growing popularity of online dating?
Minimal Fear of Rejection
Given your workload, personality, and social life, it could potentially take weeks or months to score a date via face-to-face interaction. Think about it; you’re out in public and you walk by someone and think, “Wow, they’re attractive,” so you shoot them a glance and continue on with your day. Chances are, unless you’ve obtained some form of courage via confidence or liquid, you won’t initiate a conversation due to a fear of being rejected. How humiliating to hear, “I’m sorry but I have a girlfriend,” or when you ask for her number, she responds “Why don’t I take yours?” The chances of rejection are often too high to place confidence in vulnerability. Online dating provides enough options in a small amount of time, and a computer screen between us to alleviate the fear of rejection.
Anonymity
Regardless of the pictures we post or the profile we create, online dating provides a shield of anonymity. This gives us the ability at our fingertips to be a slightly better version of ourselves; revealing our most appealing side. When I created a profile, I chose my best pictures and included only my most engaging interests. Interests like: hiking, vacations, wine tasting, cooking. All of these things are true interests of mine but I also knew they would be more successful toward attracting the opposite sex than some of my real interests. If I had included more, I probably would have mentioned that I love being lazy, cuddling, and watching The Bachelor. We have the power over our self-disclosure and the amount of truth behind it. Not only does online dating give us time to think about what we’ll say but also provides the opportunity to be a well-edited/carefully crafted version of ourselves. This is why many resort to online dating, because of the control it provides. Just remember if you’re trying to find “the one,” honesty is the best policy.
Efficiency
I realized that as I put my best self forward in this new format for dating , I had higher standards online than I did offline. I had my hopes on something serious; therefore skipped by anyone who I knew there would never be a future with. On dating sites you learn so much about someone in the first few minutes of reading. “What are you looking for? How old are you? Do you have kids? Do you drink? Do you want to get married?” Can you imagine walking up to someone you find attractive and immediately asking these questions? People choose online dating because it’s efficient! Websites have developed what many call a “relationship algorithm”, which are questions that match you up with others who share your same beliefs, interests, and personality traits. Though sometimes criticized for their overall validity, these questions may reveal make it or break it characteristics about someone, thus helping you to realize that maybe its not worth going on a first date when you already hold such strongly opposed beliefs. You can decide within a few moments whether or not to pursue someone or move on, without any encounter.
Tips for Online Dating
So you’re at the point where you’ve decided to give online dating a shot. Although it has not yet provided me with my happily-ever-after, I’ve experienced enough to know that great things can come from it. I’ve also learned to proceed with caution, and approach it casually and lightly. You must realize that you are going to most likely have to go on many dates if you are truly looking for someone you’ll be compatible with. Also, be very honest on your profile in specifying what you are seeking from the site. Brace yourself; although you may be looking for “the one,” many are looking for “the one for now.” If you start looking at every single date as a potential husband or serious relationship, I assure you, you will be disappointed.
It’s vital for your emotional well being to realize that even if you’ve been on a few dates, this person is probably talking to multiple people in addition to you. Until the person has shown obvious signs of exclusivity or you’ve had that conversation, it’s safe to assume they’re continuing to find the next best thing. That’s why it is important to get to know multiple people. Online dating tends to speed up the dating process, but don’t let it. The more you rush the relationship, the more likely you will get hurt in the process.
The best thing you can do is to take it slow. Get to know the person via texting and talking on the phone. However, there should not be a long drawn out period where you are only communicating via technology. Constant online messaging and texting can lead into disclosing too much information too soon. You may think someone sounds perfect through the 500 texts you’ve exchanged and then meet them and realize they aren’t your type at all. Now you’ve exchanged information, pictures, and told a stranger your whole life story. Set up a date within a reasonable time of getting to know them and if the person continues to reschedule, let it be a red flag to continue your search.
Lastly and most importantly, be honest. I realized through trial and error that posting my most seductive and prettiest pictures did not get me any closer to the end goal. Your profile should reflect who you are as closely as possible if you are determined to find your match. Eventually when you meet, the other person will see the real you, so don’t be afraid to post a picture of you being silly if that’s a true depiction of your personality. Also, be truthful in the information you post; I still have yet to include that my guilty pleasure is The Bachelor, but I can say that there is not one interest posted that doesn’t actually interest me. Being honest will attract the compatible people that you want to attract if you are trying to pursue something serious.
Although online dating is not for everyone because of its difference in nature than regular dating, it has become more and more successful over the years. Its efficiency allows us to keep up with dating in the fast paced world we live in while still maintaining our normal day to day routines. If you can enter the world of online dating with patience and caution then you may eventually be successful. Even if you don’t find your soul mate via online dating, you will at least get to know a variety of personalities and figure out the traits you are attracted to versus those that turn you away, giving you a better understanding of who or what you are seeking.

By MARGARITA TARTAKOVSKY, M.S.

Couples who have strong bonds remain interested in each other. They remain curious about each other’s experiences and inner lives, such as their thoughts, feelings, and fears.

As such, a great way to cultivate your connection is to talk about these inner worlds — because good communication goes beyond talk of tasks, errands and kids. (Those topics, of course, also are important. But so is delving into the intimate and often overlooked conversations.)

We asked several relationship experts for their suggestions for meaningful, fun or thought-provoking questions that partners can ask each other. Here’s what they shared…

How was your day today?
It’s such a simple, straightforward question. But in the chaos of daily living, you might forget to ask it. “This allows people to share specifics and stay connected on a day-to-day basis,” said Mudita Rastogi, Ph.D, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Arlington Heights, Ill.

What do you need from me right now?
This is an important question to ask when your partner is having a difficult day, Rastogi said. “It allows the asking partner to tailor their help to what is needed.”

How do I express my anger and conflict?
This is a question that each partner asks themselves, responding out loud while the other partner listens.

According to Beverly Hills clinical psychologist Fran Walfish, PsyD, the number one determining factor for a healthy, lasting relationship is managing conflict effectively. That includes listening without interruption, being willing to discuss issues, tolerating differences and strategizing solutions, she said.

What are you looking forward to today, this week and this month?
“This helps you tune in to what your partner enjoys,” Rastogi said. Plus, it balances out the more serious and potentially negative topics, she said.

Am I being a good spouse to you?
What are three things that I do that you couldn’t live without?
What are the ways you most experience or feel love from me or from what I do?
“It is important to check in regularly to see if what you are doing and saying is positively feeding the relationship,” said Erik R. Benson, MSW, LCSW, a private therapist in the Chicago and North Suburbs area. He suggested asking these three questions.

If you could be a character in any book, which character would you be, and why?
If you could go back in time to your teenage self, what two words would you say?
Benson also shared these two questions, which his wife, who works in the special education field, has asked him to help her get to know him better.

Describe the perfect you day (or if you could do anything you wanted for a day, what would it be?)
This is another question Benson’s wife has asked him. Such information helps her plan activities, dates and gifts, he said.

If I could change one thing about myself I would change _____.
“This gives you a window into something the person feels insecure about,” Walfish said. And it’s an opportunity for partners to be empathic and compassionate with each other, she said.

If I spent a typical day in your shoes, describe what I would experience.
Benson suggested asking the above question. Empathy is key for healthy relationships, and such questions help partners gain a deeper understanding into each other’s experiences.

What would you do in life if money weren’t an issue?
“This helps [couples] connect around long-term wishes, dreams and plans,” Rastogi said.

If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?This is another question that reveals your partner’s fantasies and even their personal character, Walfish said.
What is your greatest fear?
“You can support your partner by not pressuring when approaching the scary territory,” Walfish said. You also can ask how to help your partner become more comfortable, she said. “You want to be your partner’s safe harbor to come to for safety, soothing and healing.”

What would be your last wishes if you were incapacitated and unable to make health care decisions?
No doubt this is a difficult question to bring up. But, as Rastogi said, it’s a critical one.

What is the best thing that has ever happened to you?
This one leaves the conversation on a positive note, Walfish said. “Each one of you gets to think about happy, wonderful influences in your lives.”

By BERNADETTE GROSJEAN, MD

Differentiating Borderline Personality Disorder from Bipolar DisorderBorderline personality disorder (BPD) and bipolar disorder frequently co-occur (numbers range from 8% to 18%), although they are distinct clinical entities (Paris J et al, Compr Psychiatry 2007;48(2):145–154). A proper diagnosis guides the most effective treatment, but you’ve probably faced the difficult challenge of diagnosing these conditions, which share several clinical features.

BPD can be described by four types of psychopathology: affective disturbance, impulsivity, cognitive problems, and intense, unstable relationships. What’s most important—in addition to seeing that your patient meets DSM-IV criteria for BPD—is to establish that patterns of affective instability, impulsivity, and unstable relationships have been consistent over time. Thus, obtaining a detailed history is crucial. Also, the key features we see in BPD, such as dissociation, paranoia, and cognitive problems, are often affected by the patient’s environment and, particularly, his or her relationships. A patient might have a history of rapid and sudden deterioration when relationships change—such as threatening suicide after a breakup or severe mood swings when separated from her family. Generally, the more intense or significant the relationship is, the greater the risk of chronic stress and mood dysregulation.

Many of the same features are seen in patients with bipolar disorder, such as dysphoria, hyperactivity, impulsivity, suicidality, and psychotic symptoms. As a result, borderline patients with this cluster of symptoms are often misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder, possibly because of the effectiveness of psychopharmacological treatments for such symptoms. In fact, a more thorough assessment might show that these patients actually suffer from a personality disorder. In one study, more than one third of those misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder met DSM-IV criteria for BPD (Zimmerman M et al, Compr Psychiatry 2010;51(2):99–105).

In BPD, mood changes are generally short-lived, lasting only for a few hours at a time. In contrast, mood changes in bipolar disorder tend to last for days or even weeks or months. Mood shifts in BPD are usually in reaction to an environmental stressor (such as an argument with a loved one or a frustration in the waiting room), whereas mood shifts in bipolar disorder may occur out of the blue. Some clinicians consider BPD an “ultrarapid-cycling” form of bipolar disorder, but there’s little evidence to support this link (Gunderson JG et al, Am J Psychiatry 2006;163(7):1173–1178). Patients with BPD might rapidly cycle through depression, anxiety, and anger, but these mood shifts rarely involve elation; more often, the mood shifts are from feeling upset to feeling just “OK.” Likewise, the anxiety or irritability of BPD should not be mistaken for the mania or hypomania of bipolar disorder, which usually involve expansive or elevated mood.

At a more existential level, patients with BPD—particularly younger patients— often struggle with feelings of emptiness and worthlessness, difficulties with self-image, and fears of abandonment. These are less common in bipolar disorder, where grandiosity and inflated self-esteem are common, especially during mood episodes. And while both conditions may include a history of chaotic relationships, a patient with BPD may describe relationship difficulties as the primary—or sole—source of her/his suffering, while the bipolar patient may see them as an unfortunate consequence of his behavior.

A pattern of self-harm and suicidality often serves as a cue for diagnosing BPD (but are not necessarily required). But both can be seen in bipolar disorder, too. In BPD, suicide threats and attempts may occur along with anger at perceived abandonment and disappointment. Patients often explain these impulses as a way to be relieved of pain, or to “stop their thinking,” more so than to end their lives, per se. Patients with BPD may experience “micropsychotic” phenomena of short duration (lasting hours or at most a few days), including auditory hallucinations, paranoia, and episodes of depersonalization. However, patients generally retain insight, and can acknowledge that “something strange is happening” without strong delusional thought. When psychotic symptoms occur in bipolar disorder, they happen in the context of a mood episode, they tend to last longer, and patients may be unable to reflect on their behavior.

Accurate diagnosis of BPD and bipolar disorder can be difficult, but it’s essential for proper treatment and optimal outcome. Remission rates in BPD can be as high as 85% in 10 years (Gunderson et al, Arch Gen Psychiatry 2011;68(8):827–837), particularly with effective psychotherapeutic treatments (Zanarini MC, Acta Psychiatr Scand 2009;120(5):373– 377). Unfortunately, such treatment is not always available. Some medications can be used in BPD, such as an SSRI for impulsivity, severe and persistent depression and/or suicidality, or an atypical antipsychotic for recurrent dissociative symptoms or disinhibition. However the only consensus seems to be that medications should be used as adjuncts to psychotherapy (Silk KR, J Psychiatric Practice 2011;17(5):311–319). The long-term use of a mood stabilizer or atypical should be reserved for known cases of bipolar disorder.

This article originally appeared in The Carlat Psychiatry Report — an unbiased monthly covering all things psychiatry.

TCPR’s VERDICT: Clinicians sometimes think of a BPD diagnosis as pejorative (chronic and untreatable) and may be reluctant to disclose it, but patients and their families often find it helpful to be informed of the diagnosis. Similarly with bipolar disorder, accurate diagnosis often determines prognosis and effective treatment. For the clinician, however, it’s imperative that you make the proper diagnosis in these two often overlapping, but fundamentally quite distinct, conditions in order to optimize your patients’ outcomes.

By HEATHER GILMORE, LLMSW

Every child, every person, is unique. Each child has their own unique personality, their own strengths, their own areas for growth, and their own particular character traits. Some children tend to be more laid back and adjust to changes more easily than others while other children tend to be more “higher maintenance” and can be quite sensitive in many different ways. Some children tend to be more emotional than others.

An “emotional child” may experience and express a variety of emotions more often and more intensely than other children. For instance, they may seem to get frustrated, irritated, overwhelmed, stressed, and/or possibly even happy, excited, or surprised more easily, more often, and with more behavioral indications of these emotions as compared to other children. The “emotional child” may experience all or just some of these emotions on a regular basis.

Teach “In-the-Moment Emotion Regulation” Skills

It is important for people to have skills that will allow them to manage their emotions in the moment in a healthy way. Some people, including children, tend to be able to do this better than others. However, some children have a more difficult time choosing the most appropriate behaviors when experiencing a particular emotion. To teach In-the-Moment Emotion Regulation Skills, talk about appropriate ways to act when the child is in a calm state. It is very difficult for a child or anyone to learn when their brains and bodies are in fight, flight, or freeze mode. When an emotion does arise, you can also help a child by encouraging them to select appropriate behaviors.

Teach “Bigger Picture Emotion Management” Skills

Bigger Picture Emotion Management Skills are skills which influence the overall well-being of the person that will also help them to have better control over their emotional experiences, as well. These skills include things such as feeling more self-confident, being less stressed, having good health, and having habits that benefit one’s health and wellness.

To help a child with their Bigger Picture Emotion Management skills, help them to satisfy their basic needs. For instance, ensure that all the needs (from the bottom to the top) of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs are met. The top need (self-actualization) cannot be fully reached until the needs underneath are met.

In addition to the above pyramid of needs, it is also important to consider a child’s well-being from the perspective of overall personal health and wellness. How is the child experiencing all aspects of personal self-care and health including:

There will be more discussion about these concepts in upcoming blog posts. Please feel free to comment below with any comments you have about this article or the topics discussed, any questions you may have, or any information you would like to be mentioned in upcoming posts. Thanks.

Quick Tip: It is important to note that I am using the phrase “emotional child” to describe a particular type of child with a particular set of characteristics and behavior traits to simplify what I am trying to express in this article. However, labeling a child as an “emotional child” or with any other descriptor can have a negative connotation. When a parent or an adult in a child’s life begins to label that child as always being an “emotional child” (or any other descriptor), the adult may begin to view the child as only that and then begin to overemphasize and recognize the indicators that match with the descriptor rather than being open to when the child is displaying other traits, as well. It may also increase the child’s behaviors that coincide with the label, because the expectations of parents have great influence over a child’s behavior. Therefore, it is important to keep an open mind and not label a child in a constricting sort of way especially when it might lead to negative outcomes for the child.

By JANICE WOOD Associate News Editor

A new study has found a link between a person’s appetite and the size of their dining companions or people around them.

The larger those companions, the larger the appetite and the more apt people are to make unhealthy food choices, according to researchers from Cornell University.

The study, published in the journal Appetite, found that people were more likely to choose unhealthy foods and eat more of those foods when an overweight diner was nearby.

The findings emphasize the importance of “pre-committing” to meal choices before going into a restaurant, according to Mitsuru Shimizu, an assistant professor of psychology at Southern Illinois University and lead author of the study.

“If you go into the restaurant knowing what you will order, you’re less likely to be negatively influenced by all of the things that nudge you to eat more.”

For the study, researchers recruited 82 undergraduate college students to eat a spaghetti and salad lunch. They also hired an actress to wear a prosthesis that added 50 pounds to her normally average weight, known as a “fat suit.”

Each of the 82 students was randomly assigned to one of four scenarios: The actress served herself healthfully (more salad and less pasta) while wearing the prosthesis; she served herself the same healthy meal without the prosthesis; she served herself less healthfully (more pasta and less salad) while wearing the prosthesis; or she served herself the same less healthy meal without the prosthesis.

Participants in each scenario watched the actress serving herself and then served themselves pasta and salad.

The researchers found that when the actress wore the prosthesis, and appeared overweight, the students ate 31.6 percent more pasta regardless of whether she served herself mostly pasta or mostly salad. When she wore the prosthesis and served herself more salad, the other participants actually ate 43.5 percent less salad.

The findings demonstrate that people may eat larger portions of unhealthy foods when eating with an overweight person because they are less in tune with their own health goals, according to the researchers.

This phenomenon can be avoided by assessing your level of hunger before going to a restaurant and planning your meal accordingly, according to the researchers.

“Look up the menu beforehand and select a meal that suits your dietary goals,” said Brian Wansink, Ph.D. director of Cornell University’s Food and Brand Lab, co-author of the study, and author of the new book, Slim by Design: Mindless Eating Solutions for Everyday Life.

“Or, if you’re going to a buffet, pre-commit to selecting modest portions of healthy foods and with that goal in mind, those around you will have less of a negative influence over what you eat.”

Source: Cornell University